“Hey! Number Thirty-two, over here! Over here! OVER HERE!” The young teenager sitting behind me in the stands desperately tried to get the attention of the baseball player with the number thirty-two jersey. Whenever a player hit a foul ball, this player picked it up, pointed to someone in the crowd, and tossed the ball in that direction. 

Despite his antics, the young fan failed to get the player’s attention. Sympathetic spectators encouraged him to keep trying. As time went on, his zeal for catching the ball became almost more entertaining than the game on the field. 

Finally, one of his friends intervened. “Tommy,” he observed, “you’re just trying too hard.” 

I couldn’t help but chuckle. For many years, trying too hard perfectly described my life. In school, I didn’t just study, I dug into the material, including footnotes and other obscure information. As an employee, I always went over and beyond expectations. After I became a Christian, I expected to perfectly imitate Christ. Or if not perfectly, at least very close.

Even as I write these words, I shake my head at my youthful naivety. But in my limited understanding of grace, I only knew I needed it to become a Christian. I didn’t see it as the life force empowering me to live as a Christian. When I inevitably messed up, I found it so hard to forgive myself. I feared taking God’s grace for granted. So I didn’t allow myself to take it at all. 

The writer of the book of Hebrews has words of wisdom for people like me:

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. (Hebrews 4:15-16 NIV)

In the Old Testament, high priests served as mediators between the Israelites and God. In this passage, the Hebrews writer identifies Jesus as our high priest. Because He was fully human, Jesus can empathize with our weaknesses. But unlike the high priests of the past, Jesus was also fully God, and never sinned. He is our perfect mediator.

Instead of pushing myself harder when I fail, the Hebrews writer reminds me to turn to Jesus with confidence, knowing I will receive both mercy and grace. Mercy covers my sin and grace gives me the strength and motivation to move forward. It took me many years to understand this truth:

Instead of giving me a license to sin, grace actually motivates me to try harder- not from guilt and obligation, but from love and appreciation.

As I left the baseball stadium, I thought about the young man sitting behind me in the stands. His focus on catching a foul ball kept him too busy. Too busy to enjoy the game being played in front of him. Too busy to enjoy hanging out with his friends. Too busy to notice the sympathetic strangers all around him.

In the same way, my efforts to live Christianity through my own power kept me too busy. Too busy to love the life unfolding in front of me. Too busy to enjoy time with friends and family. Too busy to notice and appreciate the kindness of people around me.

As I continue in my journey, I pray to keep turning to the One who offers me the mercy and grace I need. With Him as my mediator, I can relax and enjoy the journey. Wherever the road takes you, I pray the same for you.