“Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” — Matthew 17:20 (NIV)

I just want to quit. 

I have recently prayed these words more times than I care to admit. The Lord has opened new opportunities for me ~ prospects that are both inspiring and challenging. In the face of the unknown, my old fear of failure, and the accompanying self-doubts, began to haunt my thoughts. I believe this is why the Lord pressed on my heart the words holy confidence as my focus this year. You won’t find a definition for these words in a dictionary, but holy confidence carries the connotation of complete dependence on God. One event in the gospel of Matthew helps me see the importance of holy confidence and its connection to great faith. 

While Jesus, Peter, James, and John went to the mountain and experienced the transfiguration, the other disciples stayed behind (Matthew 17:1-2). When Jesus returned to the crowd, a man with a demon-possessed son met Him. He asked Jesus to heal his son, because the disciples had tried and failed. After Jesus cast out the demon, His disciples asked why they hadn’t been able to do it (Matthew 17:14-19). 

Their question was a fair one. Earlier, Jesus gave them the authority to heal illnesses and to  drive out evil spirits (Luke 9:1-2), and they had experienced success (Luke 9:6). But now they failed and didn’t understand why. Jesus’ response contains a paradox:

He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” (Matthew 17:20 NIV)

Jesus told His disciples that they failed because of their “so little faith”, and then in the next breath He stated they only need faith as small as a mustard seed to accomplish the impossible. These words can be confusing ~ for many years I believed Jesus meant the disciples’ faith was even smaller than a mustard seed. But in the original language, the word “so” does not appear. Rather than defining the size or quantity of their faith, Jesus simply reminded the disciples they failed because of the “littleness of their faith”.

The disciples had based their faith on something little ~ perhaps their own ability to accomplish the task before them. I imagine they had gained self-confidence from their previous successes. So when they tried to heal this boy, they relied on their own power and skills. They failed because they placed their faith in the littleness of themselves.

Jesus reminded them it only takes faith as small as a mustard seed, when placed in God’s power, to achieve great results. The problem doesn’t lie in the size or quantity of our faith, but in the object of it. A mustard-seed-size faith, when placed in the bigness of God, creates holy confidence. And holy confidence can achieve impossible results. 

Rather than relying on God, I trusted in my own abilities and skills as I faced the challenges of these new opportunities. And when I saw the potential for failure, I wanted to quit. But when I place my trust in God, I can move forward with holy confidence.

A small faith in God will achieve far more than a great faith in ourselves.

At times, I’m still tempted to quit. But these feelings remind me to surrender my self-reliance and to pray for holy confidence.

Lord Jesus, thank You for showing us our need to depend on You. It is so easy to place our faith in our own abilities and skills and to become self-reliant. May we choose great faith by placing our trust in You rather than in ourselves. We ask this in Your name. Amen.