The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him a friend. -Abraham Lincoln

Recently, I experienced a phenomenon called earworm, or involuntary musical imagery. The lyrics to a certain song continuously played in my mind:

A wise man once told me
Give a little thanks to enemies
They teach me
How to let go
How to be free
How to find
The better side of me

(Luka Bloom, Heart Man)

Scientists note earworms can be caused by strong emotional states. This explains my particular earworm. Although I hesitate to use the word enemy, hostility in certain relationships undermined my peace and joy. 

In the New Testament, the word enemy is translated from the adjective echthros, meaning hostile. From a Biblical perspective, an enemy can simply be a person who actively opposes another. 

I realize enemies come in all shapes and sizes, and vary in degrees of hostility. For the purpose of this blog post, I only address the ones whose opposition consists of verbal attacks or passive aggressive behavior. These people get under my skin and push all of my buttons.

But what upsets me most is not what my enemy does, but how I react. If I don’t catch myself, their actions will set me on a course of sinful reactions. 

The Bible teaches us a better way to deal with our enemies. Jesus commands us to love them:

But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. (Luke 6:27-28 NIV)

Jesus often calls us to leave our comfort zones. The idea of doing good to someone who actively opposes (or hates) me not only feels foreign, but also impossible. How can I bless someone who intentionally makes my life difficult? I want to see them punished, or at least corrected.

But the Apostle Paul teaches us to adopt the opposite attitude:

Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary:

“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. (Romans 12:19-21 NIV)

Like Jesus, Paul encourages us to show love for our enemies. Instead of vengeance, we should extend kindness. Most scholars agree the phrase, “heaping coals on his head” refers to the remorse our enemies will feel as a result of our kindness.

I must confess, in my early days as a Christian, the idea of pricking my enemy’s conscience became my sole motivation for obeying this verse. I completely missed the heart of the teaching.

The last verse holds the key. As we extend grace to our enemies, their remorse leads them to repentance. Good will overcome evil as our enemy becomes our friend.

In his song, Luka Bloom captures the wisdom of Paul’s teaching. Letting go of the need for vengeance frees me to extend kindness to my enemies. In doing so, I dig into the better side of me. The side Jesus creates in me.

I’ve tried it my way. I forced the issue, exposed the wrong, sought justice. I won. I received vindication. But victory did not last. My actions fortified the wall of hostility between me and my enemy.

I’ve tried it Jesus’ way. I let go and let God control the situation. I prayed for my enemies and looked for ways to bless their lives. 

Sometimes my enemy did become my friend. Other times, God granted me peace and joy in spite of the continuing hostility. In reality, we are only one part of the equation. Since God grants free will to all, our enemies may choose to not return our kindness. 

But in the moments I choose to love my enemies, I become the most like Jesus. At one time, I lived in opposition to Him, making me His enemy. Only by His grace could I become His friend. (Romans 5:10)

God’s superpower of grace turns enemies into friends.

As I continue down this road, I expect more bumps along the way. I pray to respond with the love of Jesus. Wherever your travels take you, I pray the same for you.