Still groggy, I stumbled into the kitchen and poured myself some coffee. In my determination to finish a project, I decided to work late into the night. Now I suffered the consequences.

Sipping my cup of joe, I shook my head at the irony. I’d shortened my hours of sleep so I could  rework an article I had written on our need for rest. 

As I thought about that decision, accusatory questions began to flood my consciousness. Does this mean I’m a hypocrite? Will I ever change? Can I change?

During my years as a college student, I cultivated the unhealthy habit of pulling late-night (or all-night) study sessions. Unfortunately, I carried this habit of ignoring my body’s need for rest well into my adult life. Crazy work deadlines, a too-busy social agenda, and the pursuit of personal passions justified my tendency to undervalue sleep. 

A couple of years ago, I wrote a blog post describing how my thoughts about rest changed after looking at it from a spiritual perspective (you can read the post here). Since that time, I’ve committed to respect my need for rest and sleep. Yet here I am, once again falling into the same trap.

Whenever we take a step backwards, it’s so easy to feel condemned and to fear we will never change. Thankfully, this is not how God feels. Let’s look at some truths nestled in 1 John:

If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:8-9 NIV)

All of us will sin at some point in our lives. But John reminds us that God continually forgives us of our sins and purifies us from all unrighteousness. The trick is to be honest with ourselves and with Him.

Later in this letter John writes:

If our hearts condemn us, we know that God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything. (1 John 3:20 NIV)

In the Bible, the word translated as heart, kardia, doesn’t refer to the organ which pumps blood. Rather, it represents the center of our emotions, desires, and will. God knew we would feel condemned whenever we sin. So He wants us to know that His love is greater than our hearts, or the feelings of guilt that our hearts carry.  

Forgiveness for the spiritual consequences of my choice happened immediately. But the physical ramifications lingered. With low energy and my mind in a fog, I struggled to make it through the day. I believe God planned for the physical pain to remind me of my need for adequate rest (Hebrews 12:10-11). Hopefully this leads to a wiser choice the next time I’m tempted to skimp on sleep.

Wherever the road leads us, we will all stumble and fall. In those times, I pray we take comfort in the love of the One who is greater than all the guilty feelings our hearts carry.