Why We Should Give Each Other A Second Chance To Make A Good Impression
But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” — 1 Samuel 16:7 (NIV)
I immediately noticed him when his motorcycle pulled next to us at the traffic light. Broad-shouldered, a bandana holding his long hair in place, muscular and tattooed arms ~ he looked like a ruffian. But the moment he saw the puppy in my lap, his face broke into the widest, most joyful smile imaginable. As the light turned green, he cooed at our puppy and waved his good-bye. I never would have expected such a gentle reaction from someone who looked so rough and tough.
My husband and I still laugh at this memory. But it also sobers me ~ it’s so easy to make false assumptions based solely on appearance. I love a story in the Old Testament which perfectly illustrates our human tendency to superficially judge others ~ and reminds us that God has a higher standard.
Although God had always led His people, there came a time when the Israelites asked for a human king. In response, God sent the prophet Samuel to anoint the first king of Israel, a man named Saul (1 Samuel 9:15-16; 1 Samuel 10:1). Scripture tells us Saul stood a head taller than anyone else, and no one else was like him (1 Samuel 10:23-24).
Saul looked the part, so he was cast in the role of king. Unfortunately, his regal appearance concealed a rebellious heart. Eventually Saul’s disobedience caused the Lord to remove him as king (1 Samuel 15:10-11; 1 Samuel 15:27-28).
Next the Lord next sent Samuel to Bethlehem to anoint one of Jesse’s sons as the next king of Israel. The Bible notes that Samuel was still grieving Saul’s failure (1 Samuel 16:1). I imagine Saul’s appearance had led Samuel to believe he would be a great king. It can be so disheartening when people do not live up to our expectations ~ even when those expectations are based on faulty assumptions.
Old habits die hard. Even though Samuel had just experienced the harsh reality that people don’t always live up to their appearances, he fell into the same trap. Among Jesse’s sons, he opted for Eliab who looked and carried himself like a king (1 Samuel 16:6). I love God’s gentle reminder to Samuel:
But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7 NIV)
God made it clear: He looks at the heart. None of the sons presented to Samuel were chosen to be the next king. Finally, Jesse remembered his youngest son, David. This son, serving as a shepherd for his father’s herds, had been overlooked by everyone ~ except God. When Samuel saw David, he immediately anointed him as the next king of Israel (1 Samuel 16:8-12).
David may not have looked like royalty. But he became Israel’s greatest king and was known as a man after God’s own heart (1 Samuel 13:14; Acts 13:22). This doesn’t mean David was perfect, or never sinned (2 Samuel 12:7-13). But I believe David, in spite of all his imperfections, truly loved the Lord with all his heart, soul, and strength (Deuteronomy 6:4-5; Matthew 22:37).
I’ve heard it said we never get a second chance to make a first impression. That may be true. But the Lord reminds us we all deserve a second, deeper look ~ one that considers the heart.
I don’t always have the luxury of knowing the hearts of the people around me. In those times I think of some wise words a friend once shared with me:
When we don’t know the whole story, let’s assume the best. God knows the rest.
Just like Samuel, I have a real-life example that appearances don’t always tell the whole story. Sometimes the toughest-looking person hides the softest heart. And sometimes the most noble heart is found in the least regal-looking person.
Lord, our tendency is to judge others based on appearances. Because of You, we can learn to look deeper as we seek to understand those around us. In those situations where we can’t know their hearts, I pray we assume the best, and that we trust You with the rest. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Shirley, It was so nice having your blog back, I had missed reading them. I also enjoyed this one because I have a such a hard time with how I look and I am very hard on myself. I really appreciated how I need to look at my heart and know that God doesn’t see my outer appearance but what is in my heart.
Thank you Teresa! It feels good to be blogging again. ???? I am also appreciative that God sees ~ and values ~ what is in our hearts. I am so encouraged by you and our friendship ~ your heart carries so many godly traits and characteristics! ????
In my work as a mental health therapist I think I’ve almost seen it all. I’m constantly learning from the harsh experiences people have gone through. It’s amazing sometimes to find what’s underneath a person’s outward appearance and how indomitable the human spirit is. A constant reminder to me not to judge a book by its cover. We have no idea what an individual may have gone through or what burdens they’re currently carrying.
Thank you, Maya. I absolutely agree. I’m learning more and more how important it is assume the best ~ and to look deeper when I can. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!????