How To Live With Compliments But Not For Them

“He must become greater; I must become less.”  — John 3:30 (NIV)

There’s a postcard sitting on my desk. On it a friend wrote one of the highest compliments I’ve ever received:

It is clear that you walk with Jesus.

These words remind me of my truest desire: to honor Jesus in all that I do. Yet working against this desire is my tendency to seek validation from other people. Compliments, if I’m not careful, can feed this hunger for approval. So for years I’ve had a love/hate relationship with them. I used to reject praise with words like, “Oh, it’s nothing.” Or by pointing out what could be better. In time I learned to respond with a simple “thank you”. But as much as I tried to brush off compliments, deep down I secretly craved them. In the world of love languages, words of affirmation define how I feel loved. 

Knowing I’m wired this way helps me appreciate the compliments I receive. But I’ve learned there is a big difference between living with compliments and living for them. When I seek validation from people, I begin to serve so others will notice and praise me. In my flesh I want to claim the glory for myself, but in my spirit I want to have the heart of John the Baptist. 

Before he was even born, God gave John a unique purpose: to prepare people’s hearts for Jesus (Luke 1:17). To that end, John called people to a baptism of repentance. Many responded and were baptized, and he acquired faithful followers or disciples. But when Jesus began His ministry, people began to go to Him to be baptized. Because of this, some of John’s disciples feared he was losing the favor of the people (John 3:22-26). To this John replied:

“He must become greater; I must become less.” (John 3:30 NIV)

I marvel at the purity of John’s heart. He desired nothing more than to point people to Jesus. And when people turned away from him to follow Jesus, he rejoiced (John 3:29). John didn’t seek compliments, or praise from others. He had confidence in his calling and didn’t need validation from others. Yet Jesus reminds us of John’s special place in the history of the Kingdom of God, “‘Truly I tell you, among those born of women there has not risen anyone greater than John the Baptist’” (Matthew 11:11a NIV). 

We all need words of encouragement. For some of us, they make us feel loved. But they can never replace our true calling and purpose: to point others to Jesus. 

Lord Jesus, thank You for giving us the example of John the Baptist. He truly embraced his calling and joyfully pointed people to You. He didn’t need validation or approval from anyone other than You and the Father. May we imitate the purity of his heart as we embrace our purpose. Let us continue to encourage one another with our words, but help us remember our truest desire is to honor You with our lives. We pray this in Your name. Amen.