When My Heart Breaks, Where Is God And What Is His Plan?

Recently I suffered a loss. As I look around at my circle of friends, I’m not alone. Some losses happened long ago, while others are very recent. And although our losses vary in intensity, they always carry heartache and pain. Because of this, anyone who has lost something, or someone, grieves. 

I used to think of grief as a negative emotion, and one that should be avoided. But grief, like loss, is unavoidable. So I’ve learned to look at it differently. While I don’t wish loss or grief on any of us, I’ve seen how grief carries the power of connection. 

Grief connects us with God.

The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them;
     he delivers them from all their troubles.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
     and saves those who are crushed in spirit. (Psalm 34:18-19 NIV)

Whatever trouble caused our loss, the right response is to cry out to God. Over the last few weeks, I’ve poured out my sorrow, grief, fear, frustration, disappointment, anger… to the One who stays close to the brokenhearted. As I shared in last week’s blog, I didn’t hide my feelings, or apologize for them. I’ve learned God’s broad shoulders can take it all. 

But along with sharing all my emotions, I asked for God’s strength ~ sometimes even for a double portion of it. I’ve needed to lean on Him so I could:

• bear the pain
• process the sorrow and grief
• surrender the fear and anger 
• trust Him in spite of the frustration and disappointment

It hasn’t been an easy process, but with God walking with me, it has been productive. Paul said it this way:

I can do all things through him who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13 ESV)

Grief connects us with each other.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. (2 Corinthians 1:3-4 NIV)

So many kind people helped me process this loss and grief. The most helpful words came from those who understood my pain, because they experienced something similar. It inspires hope when we see examples of others who successfully weathered the pain of loss. When the time is right, we can be those examples for others. And we can comfort them as the Lord did us. 

We can:

• stick close and listen
• share a simple, “Me, too.”
• point to the God of all comfort
• pray for the process of healing

The pain of loss connects us in our humanity on a deeper level than any other shared experience. In times like these, God created us to reach up, and then out. When we do this, we can bear all things.

Wherever the road leads us next, whatever the trouble we may find in our path, may we all remember to reach out to the One who sticks close to us when our hearts break. May we freely receive His comfort, so we may freely give it to others.