Words Are Powerful: The Lost Art Of Gracious Conversations

Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. — Proverbs 16:24 (NIV)

Words are powerful. 

Sadly in our broken world, we often see hateful words thrown out without restraint. During my years as an elementary school teacher, I often saw my young students speak harshly to each other ~ much in the same way as some people interact in social media chats. Contrary to the words of a popular children’s chant, words do hurt. Hurtful things said to me live in my memory, just as I’m sure the mean words I’ve said live in the memories of others. 

In my classroom, we practiced how to use our words to positively communicate needs, feelings, regrets, and forgiveness. Just as importantly, we learned to use words to praise the good we saw in each other. Learning how to use words to bless, and not to hurt, is a valuable skill. 

One of my favorite Scriptures describes the way our words can bless others: 

Gracious words are a honeycomb,
     sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. (Proverbs 16:24 NIV)

The Hebrew word translated as gracious, noam, means gracious, delightful, pleasant, and suitable. The word doesn’t describe flattery, but rather speech which encourages, builds up, and is helpful. Gracious words bring healing to the soul and to the body. 

Recently a friend reminded me of this healing power of words. We first grew close some thirty years ago, but had lost contact over the years. Social media reconnected us, and then, in a happy twist of fate, her husband’s job brought her to my city for a few months. During this time we met several times over coffee or lunch. 

In our conversations she always shared the good she saw in me from years ago. Her gracious words brought healing because I have a memory problem ~ or rather, a selective memory problem. While some people select to remember the good things, I tend to revisit my regrets ~ the unpleasant things I’ve said or done. We all need friends to help us see and remember the good in us.

We also need friends who can see us at our worst, and then help bring us back to our best. I have such a friend who is a lifeline for me. Anytime I am at my wits’ end, I call her. Without judgment she listens to me rant ~ and then she reminds me of God’s truths and helps me find my way forward. Her gracious words bring healing because they protect me from giving in to my sinful desires. 

Another friend consistently reminds me of God’s sovereignty. As someone who struggles with control issues, I can easily become discouraged when life doesn’t go as planned. I forget that the Lord’s thoughts are not our thoughts and His ways are not our ways (Isaiah 55:8). No matter what is happening in my world, her gracious words bring healing as she helps me trust in the Lord. 

We all need friends who use their words to bring healing to our lives, and I want to be that friend for others. But speaking words of grace and healing doesn’t always come naturally. As I go about my busy day, I can overlook opportunities to encourage others with my words. And it’s easy to be influenced by the way this broken world communicates. So, as I taught my young students years ago, I need to go back to practicing the lost art of gracious conversations.  

Dear Lord Jesus, thank You that we are never too old to be teachable. You’ve given us a powerful tool in our ability to communicate with others. Help us to lean on you so that our words are full of grace and healing. May our conversations be suitable for Your purposes. We pray this in Your name. Amen.